What About Me
by BangelgirlForever
Summary: What if Angel didn't lose his soul, but left after making love with Buffy to help an old girlfriend.
1. Chapter 1

Title: What About Me

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to BTVS or Angel. Wish I did, but alas, they belong to the evilness that is Joss Whedon

Spoiler: Season Two's "Surprise"

Synopsis: What if Angel didn't lose his soul and just up and left Buffy after making love with her to help an old girlfriend (I realize that Angel would never do that, but I love suspenseful relationships)

Angel's Apartment (3:15)

Angel woke with a wonderful feeling in his chest. _It's like I'm alive again_ he thought to himself. He looked over at the young slayer beside him and reached a hand to caress her face lovingly. A loud ringing brought him out of his reverie, reaching across to his phone, he picked it up and answered in a quiet voice. "Hello?" he answered in an almost whisper. "Angel?" he heard on the other end, "Cassie?, what's the matter?" concern filling his voice. He listened intently and felt his features harden at the situation on the other end. "I'll be there as soon as I can" he replied and hung up the phone. Quickly dressing and grabbing his keys, he thought briefly about the young girl still wrapped up in his sheets. Looking down at her sleeping face, he promised himself that he would be back before anything went wrong with the Judge or Spike and Druscilla. Laying a small kiss on her forehead, he made his way to the front door and closed it on his way out quietly.

Angel's Apartment(4:30)

Buffy slowly woke from the greatest dream. After the horrific events of the previous night, she was exhausted. Reaching out slowly to touch her new lover, she found herself alone. Opening her eyes to confirm that her 242 year old boyfriend was, in fact, not laying beside her, she wrapped the sheet around herself and called out for her lover. "Angel?" she called out quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace that had settled over the apartment over the last few hours. Her reply was silence. Worry washed over Buffy instantly. Climbing out of the large bed, she briefly looked around the apartment to see if he was anywhere to be found. Nothing. _Oh God, he went after the Judge by himself _ she thought to herself. Quickly dressing and putting on her boots, she made her way to the door.

Sunnydale High School Library(8:15)

Buffy entered the library to find her friends and Watcher arguing. "My god you people are…well, I can't think of a word right now, but we're going to the factory" Willow yelled. When she turned around, she was faced with her best friend. "Buffy" she called, Xander right behind her, "We were just coming to save you" Xander said. "Well, some of us were" Willow glared at Giles and Jenny. "Well, I…I would have" Giles defended himself quickly. No one had seen or heard from Buffy or Angel in the last few hours and everybody was on edge. Buffy then proceeded to explain what had happened, leaving out the parts about her and Angel, but Willow saw from the look in her eyes that something was up. Leaving the library to go to classes Willow caught up with Buffy. "You don't think Angel went to find the Judge by himself, do you?" Willow asked in a worried tone. "No, he knows better, I just wish he would contact me, I need to talk to him" Buffy replied walking up the stairs.

End Scene

Author's Note: About a week has passed since Buffy's birthday night, with the help of her friends, Buffy was able to kill the Judge and drive Spike and Druscilla into hiding. The scene picks up where Angel comes back into town and brings his former lover with him


	2. Chapter 2

Sunnydale Library: One Week Later (9:32)

Buffy had been slowly losing her mind of the last week. Angel had disappeared the day after they made love. She couldn't figured out what had happened to him. Horrible scenarios were racing through her mind. _Where is he? And why didn't he let me know he was leaving?_ Willow looked across the table to her best friend, concerned for her. "I wish I could say something to make you feel better" Willow admitted to her friend. Buffy looked at her best friend, loving the fact that Willow was working to make her feel better. "It's ok Wil, I just hate that I don't know what happened to him…" Feeling tears spring to life, Buffy wiped her eyes quickly.

No sooner had those words come out of Buffy's mouth, the door to the library swung open and revealed Angel and a young girl. Buffy looked over to the door, realized who the newcomer was, jumped from her chair and ran to her lover.

"Angel!" "Hey!" "Oh!" "Hey" Buffy wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and squeezed for dear life, afraid to let him go.

"Oh my god, I was so worried"

"Didn't mean to frighten you" Angel replied

"Where did you go?" Buffy asked, no realizing there was someone with him

"Oh, um…Buffy this is Cassie, a friend of mine" Angel moved out of the way to reveal his companion. Angel looked at Buffy and explained

"Cassie was in some trouble, so I left to give her some help"

Cassie stepped forward and automatically gave Buffy a bear hug. "Oh my goddess, it is so good to finally meet the girl who stole Angel's heart, I have heard so much about you in the last week. I didn't mean to take Angel away from here, but I got into some trouble in my hometown and needed some help right away"

Buffy, in hearing this, began to back away from Angel and Cassie. "So Angel's been helping you?" she asked, the jealousy rising from the pit of her stomach. She didn't know who this beautiful woman was, but knowing how many women had been in and out of Angel's life, assumed she was an ex-girlfriend.

"Yeah" Cassie replied. "Angel's been a huge, comforting rock through everything the last few days". Cassie smiled up at Angel, who gave her a huge smile back. A smile that Buffy had never seen on Angel's face before tonight.

Suddenly, the world became too small for Buffy to stand. "You know what Wil,? I'm gonna head home" She began to collect her things and made a beeline for the door. Willow, sensing what was going on in Buffy's head, just let her go.

Buffy pushed past Angel and Cassie and headed out the door. Angel, realizing that something was not right with his girl, excused himself quickly and followed Buffy out the door.

"Hey! What's the matter?" Angel asked.

"Nothing" Buffy replied, "I just wanna get home".

"No, that's not it. Something's wrong with you. Talk to me" Angel begged. He hadn't expected Buffy to rush off without so much as a kiss goodbye. He grabbed her arm and spun her around.

Buffy, in a highly emotional state, ripped her arm from Angel's grasp and turned to glare at him. "Ok fine, you wanna know, well here it is…" Buffy started

"I wake up from one of the most important nights in my life…only to find you gone without so much as a note." She spoke angrily. "I spend the week terrified that something has happened to the man that I love…only to find out that he's just honky-dory with his ex!"

"How did you know she was my ex?" Angel asked quietly

"Call it intuition" Buffy shot back. "Then I realize I have to fight a huge blue demon that could possibly end the world all on my own!"

"Was anyone hurt?" Angel asked, almost afraid to know the answer

"No! That's not the point Angel, the point is you left me alone! All alone Angel! Do you realize how scared I was thinking that something had happened to you? Huh? How scared I was that I wouldn't be able to fight the Judge by myself?" Buffy almost screamed.

Angel, taking all the information in, began to feel like the world's biggest jerk._ I didn't realize that it would be like that _he thought to himself. "I'm sorry" he hung his head and said quietly. "I don't know what else to say".

"Don't say anything…just leave me alone". Buffy replied and walked away.

"Buffy wait! Please! Don't go!" Angel begged, but it fell on deaf ears.

She was gone before he could blink

Ok, my second chappie is up. Please let me know what you think. I'm new to as an author. I'm quite frankly terrified. I'll be back with new chaps quicker than you can say "Merry Christmas" LOL


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, here we go. Chap 3 is up and going. All your reviews are welcomed and appreciated.

Buffy's Room: The Next Night (8:23)

Buffy hadn't felt like going out tonight, so she stayed in her room, which is very unlike her. Her conversation with Angel kept playing over in her head. _Please don't go_ she heard him say. It ultimately came down to confusion. _He tells me he loves me, makes love to me and then leaves without a word?_ she thought to herself. She never knew she could feel this much pain. He made her feel like a two cent whore! The only difference was he didn't leave any money in the nightstand while she was asleep.

Her thoughts also kept going to Cassie. She seemed real sweet, but maybe that's why Angel wanted to help her. The smile he gave her rang in her eyes like a blinding light. _He never smiles like that with me…why?_ She couldn't figure it out. _Maybe Cassie has something that I don't…Does he love her? Will there ever be a time when I don't have to deal with ex-girlfriends? I don't know. _

A sudden knock on her window drew Buffy from her thoughts. Angel's handsome face came into view and she walked over to let him in.

"Hi" he said

"Hey, what are you doing here?" she replied, confused to see him here.

"You left without a word last night…look, I know what I did was wrong…" "You're a grown man Angel, you don't have any obligations to anybody" she interrupted his thought process.

"That's not the point, I left without a word and forced you to deal with everything on your own…if I had known then I wouldn't have done it."

Buffy started to pace the room slowly. Tears were forming in her eyes and she quickly stifled a sob and sat down. _I don't want to do this_ she thought…but maybe it needed to be done.

"Look, I wish I knew something to say that would make you AND me feel better…but that just isn't going to happen" she said.

"Buffy…"

"Please don't…I just need to get this out"

She walked over to Angel and held his face in her hands

"I love you…more than anything in the world, but I don't think that's enough"

_What is she saying?_ He thought. He loved her and she loved him. That was more than he ever thought he would get in this world. Somehow this tiny scrap of a girl, who kicked his ass in an alley just last year, made him fall head over heels in love with her. She was his everything and now with what happened between them, there was no way he was going to let her go. He looked into her eyes and saw an old sadness that he was familiar with.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore"

"What?!" he exclaimed. _No, No, No this isn't happening_

"I want you to be happy…"

"I AM happy".

"But it's not with me…this Cassie girl, she seems to bring something out in you that I've never seen."

"Buffy…Cassie is a FRIEND…nothing more. I love YOU. I want my life to be with YOU."

"…I don't"

Angel took a step back. Tears automatically formed in his eyes.

"You don't wanna be with me?" he asked in a small voice

"I do…I love you…but you have something with Cassie…something more than you have with me. I couldn't allow myself to get in the way of that."

"I don't care about Cassie!"

"Well, obviously you do…or you wouldn't have left me for her." Buffy tried to reason with him.

"Buffy…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry that I did. But…you can't do this." He choked out. "You can't just walk away from me now…not after everything that has happened." Unwanted tears spilled down his eyes.

Buffy watched him cry his eyes out and felt her heart wretch. She only wanted him to be happy and she feared that she was no longer the one to make him so.

Angel wasn't about to give up without a fight. "No…No, you're not gonna do this, please, just give me a chance, I swear I'll make it up to you."

"I'm not looking for you to make anything up to me…I'm just saying that this is the way things should be. Please try to understand. Don't make this harder than it already is."

"No! I am NOT gonna make this easier…I have tried to live without you and I can't. I love you dammit, I just want to be with you, not her, not anybody else. YOU!"

"Angel, please just accept this…I don't wanna hurt you, I wanna help you to be happy."

Suddenly Buffy heard her mother coming up the stairs. Not wanting to get into any trouble, she ushered Angel out of the room

"You gotta go…Mom's on her way up."

Angel just looked at Buffy, his heart breaking into a million pieces. He was losing the woman that he loved with all his heart. He choked back more tears and pulled himself together.

"Alright" he said with little conviction and made his way to her window. He gave her one last pleading glance to make things right and received nothing. Watching Angel move through the window, Buffy's own heart shattered. She thought he would put up a little more of a fight and realized…_ If he doesn't love me as much as he said he does, he's NOT gonna put up a fight._

When Angel was gone, Buffy laid down on her bed and sobs wracked her body, crying for her lost love.

Alright, I know things are going by quick, but I plan on making this a few short chaps and ending it quick. Trust me though, there is going to be a make-up scene and happy Bangel goodness! Again, reviews are appreciated and welcomed, but please be soft…I'm a very fragile writer LOL


	4. Chapter 4

Okie Doke, Here is Chapter 4! I'm really getting the hang of this stuff. Love it!

Angel's Apartment: One Week Later (10:45)

Angel tried reading, writing and drawing…nothing was coming to him. _My muse is gone_ he thought to himself. It had been a week since Buffy broke up with him and he still couldn't believe it. He couldn't sleep, feed or anything a normal vampire would do. He wouldn't even lay down in his bed, her scent still lingering in his sheets. A fresh batch of tears were coming to his eyes when he heard a knock at the door and got up to answer it, hoping it was Buffy.

"Cassie?"

"Hey, did I interrupt anything?"

"No, not at all. Come on in."

Cassie walked into the room and witnessed Angel's destroyed apartment. Through the grapevine she heard about Buffy breaking up with Angel and wanted to check on him to make sure he was alright.

"How are you?" she asked

"I've been better…Buffy left me." Angel replied

"I know, I heard, I'm so sorry…I never realized my being here would cause you so much trouble."

"No, it was me. I did this."

Angel began pacing the small living room, feeling like a caged animal. He was so used to seeing Buffy every night and now it felt like his "Buffy fix" was wearing him down, making him feel like an addict.

"Look, you can't blame yourself" Cassie said. "You were only helping a friend, and that's what I am. A FRIEND."

"Buffy thinks we're more." Angel replied

"I know, but there has to be some way that you can make her see otherwise."

The more Cassie talked, the more frustrated Angel got. As stubborn as Buffy was, there was no way he was going to make her see that they were just friends. No way he was going to make her see that he loved BUFFY…no one else would fit. Fresh tears formed in Angel's eyes.

"I can't breathe without her Cassie." Angel sobbed

"Angel honey, you don't breathe."

"That's not the point! When I'm with Buffy I feel alive again, like I'm human again. I can breathe for the first time in centuries. Now it's…I can't feel anything. Just this mind numbing pain."

Cassie walked up to Angel and threw her arms around him, wanting to comfort him in some way. She let him sob on her shoulder and cry out his misery. She felt like a true friend…taking care of someone in their time of need

Until Angel looked at her…

With his arms wrapped around her, Angel looked into Cassie's eyes. He wanted to feel something other than pain, and he felt like Cassie was the right one to do it. Leaning in for a kiss, Angel hoped to find a solace from the pain.

"Angel, maybe we shouldn't…"

"Cass…please…please don't turn me away."

Giving in rather quickly, Cassie kissed Angel and together they fell on the bed.

Angel's Apartment (12:00)

Buffy made her way to Angel's. She was a slayer on a mission. After breaking up with Angel, Buffy had never felt more miserable in her life. She couldn't eat, sleep or do anything besides go to school and patrol. Then it hit her: _I love him more than anything in the world, there's nothing we can't get through together_ she thought. Getting her purse, she made her way to see Angel and make things right again.

Getting to his door, she knocked and called out for him

When the door opened to reveal Angel wearing only a pair of pants, her resolve was renewed. They were going to make this work, come hell or high water.

"Hey" Angel said, sounding quite surprised

"Angel!" Buffy said, wrapping her arms around him, refusing to let go

"Hey…what's the matter?"

"God, everything! I've been so stupid Angel, I thought I could do this without you and I was wrong…I love you. I wanna make it work."

"What?" he said now really confused. A week ago she was saying he needed to move on, and now she was here, saying she needed him.

"I screwed up Angel…I love you, I need you and I can't do this without you…please take me back."

Renewing her grip on him, tears burst from Buffy's eyes. Angel on the other hand was faring no better. He had dreamed about this very thing happening for a week now and suddenly it was coming true.

"Oh god Buffy! You have no idea how much I wanted to hear you say that. I can't do this without you either. I need you. More than you know."

"You do?"

"Of course! I haven't been able to do anything but think about you…it's been killing me."

Buffy was more determined than ever to make things work with Angel

Until she heard the voice…

"Angel? Who's at the door?"

Buffy pulled away from Angel , not believing what she was hearing.

"Who is that?"

"Um…uh…" Angel stuttered. _Oh no, not now!_

Cassie came into view. Now, Buffy would have believed that she was just here to comfort Angel, until she looked down and noticed what Cassie was wearing: Angel's shirt

Buffy backed away quickly, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Oh…"

"Buffy! I swear it's not what you think"

"Oh my god…you and her?"

"Buffy" Cassie said. "I can explain…"

"Please don't, I think I've seen enough. I am so sorry for interrupting…"

Angel made a grab for her arm, determined to make her see. He only did it to make the pain go away. He used Cassie…that's it!

"Buffy please, let me explain!" he begged

"No need, I get it…You figured I was right and decided to make it official…It's ok"

"No! That's not what happened. You have to believe me, I just wanted to feel something. I swear, it didn't mean anything."

"He's right Buffy, it really didn't mean anything. I swear it!" Cassie interrupted

"I gotta go" Buffy started.

"No, please…" Angel begged her. "Please don't leave…not again, I can't do it again."

But it was too late

Buffy was out the door and on her way outside before Angel ever got the chance to fall down to his knees and beg for her forgiveness.

End Chapter 4

Please let me know what ya'll think. I SWEAR to you, there will be a happy ending…just not yet! BWAHAHAHA

Seriously, I think this story sucks…but everybody else seems to like it. So I will be getting more chappies up quick. And then on to the next story.


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